July 30th is a date that I no longer like just because it is the night that my best friend was killed in a car accident. It is has been four years now and seems like forever ago yet, just yesterday with some of the emotions I feel and the longings I have to talk to her. The what if's ......she didn't get to see me marry the man who makes my world light up and put a love in my heart that just grows and grows ..........she didn't get to meet my little Amanda who has brought so much joy to our world and made me the one thing we talked about over and over about becoming, "a mother"
She didn't get to see her little boy head off to first grade or see her little girl go to kindergarten........she wasn't there to comfort her husband when his mother died of cancer.......she isn't here to forgive the woman who should not have been driving legally on the road that night............she isn't here for me to just call and vent about my day or make me laugh about things that most people don't laugh about, but we sure did (she had a great sense of humor).....to have our girl talks and not be judged by anything we say......to share how we love being mother's and have the world's greatest husbands! (I am sure we would fight over that one!)She isn't here to talk about decorating a house or unpacking which she had to do several times and just loved! She isn't here to talk about God and the way he works.........what he is doing in her life.........what she is doing for him...............and of course our favorite TV show talk:) (that one is still a secret)
She just was taken way too young and didn't get to finish living out the life that most of us long for, finding someone who loves and adores us as much as we adore and love them, and getting to see those tiny tots grow up. To see the funny silly things kids do..........and even the days they just don't listen and frustrate us with their disobedience........I have wondered many times why God allowed her to be taken from us and her little children in such a tragic way. Especially just when it seemed both of our lives were just beginning and we had so many adventures to share.
Why would he even give her children if he was going to take her away from them? And you know I can't find any answers.
All I know and can cling to is the fact that I will indeed see her again and not only see her, but live with her for an eternity in heaven. All I can do is pray for the girl who hit her that she is able to move on knowing she killed someone. As much as her ignorance and mistake has hurt so many including myself, I must say I eventually have realized how helpful it is to pray for her, it is so freeing and healing to really pray for an enemy.
We all do stupid things at some point in our lives and just living knowing your stupid thing cost a life, and took a mom from her tots, and loving husband, would really be an awful way to live. So say a prayer for Greg, Jonah, Abbi and let's just call her the lady who made a costly mistake today! We miss you Doree!
