One year ago today, we lost Kelli after a long cancer battle. I have prayed a lot for the hubby and sweet boy and daughter she left behind. I looked back at an email from a year ago yesterday from her neighbor telling me that Kelli wasn't going to make it home the next day so the meal I was planning on bringing them was not needed. She didn't make it home to her earthly home, that's true. But the next day she got to meet her Lord and Saviour at the Pearly Gates, pain free, and with that beautiful smile once again she was home!
Honestly, I prayed sooooo hard for years for Kelli, and I really believed up until the last three weeks.......that God was going to perform a miracle as I know He still does......I really didn't want Kelli to have to say goodbye to her little four year boy that put a smile on her face despite the pain she was feeling.....I hated for a mother to not see her little child grow up. To not experience dropping him off at kindergarten........being there when he falls off his bike, or wakes up in the middle of the night not because he wanted to disturb her precious sleep, but because he needs comfort that only a mom can give. I hated for her to miss the hugs, and kisses and knew how much she hated to leave him behind because she fought so hard.
I think of how tired I am some days........how I need my time for myself some days........and then I quickly stop and think of Kelli. It stops me in my tracks and makes me stop whining and just appreciate being with my girls.
Yesterday, I needed to get some cleaning done and Amelia said, "Can you play with me mommy?" Honestly, we played the whole day and I think I got one load of laundry done but honestly, who cares? I find playing with my girls much more satisfying than laundry and have a much greater appreciation for my time with them all because of watching Kelli fight to live so she could play and be with her son.
I am soooo thankful to God for bringing her into my life even if it was such a short time, and only to form a friendship, and then take her away.......(I am getting way too many friends in heaven too soon!)
.I am grateful for the time I had watching her play with her son, and seeing that joy that he brought her in just watching him ride his bike! I am also thankful for our talk under the tree on one of the most beautiful sunny days......I am thankful that God told me to be bold and ask some tough questions.......because those tough questions bring me peace today in knowing that Kelli is with Jesus.
It is a question that causes so much controversy sometimes, and some saw me asking as being judgemental because she was part of their bible study...but if I were dying and not one friend asked me if I knew beyond a shadow of doubt where I was going to spend eternity..........I would have realized a little too late, that they were not true Christian friends.
I know religion is such a forbidden topic to sooo many, and no one wants to offend anyone anymore, plus there are many ways to express your love for God.......but there really is only one way to know Him, and to have peace that when you die you will spend eternity with him.
I told Kelli once, that it was as simple as the ABC's..........Asking him to be your Saviour and Lord, Believing that He died on the cross for your sins. Confessing that you are indeed a sinner and asking him to take those sins away. That's all it takes, but it something that only one person can know if you have done that, and that is you! No one knows your heart and can tell you that you accepted Christ as a child and don't remember it........you have to know for yourself. That is why I don't push my kids to accept Christ at a young age, and I would never tell my kids that they are a christian and have accepted Christ. It is my desire and prayer for them, but I know it has to be a choice they make because God is in the business of freewill.......He believes in giving you a choice to accept him and I hope you have and if not, you do so today so you can be in heaven one day for eternity with me, and with Kelli!
