I am a firm believer in writing things down that my kids say now so I can laugh now, and look back on them later, and either cry or laugh when they are teenagers going through those lovely teen moments!
Today I had a morning that I just felt like I was an absolute failure as a stay at home mom. My child was late to school and it was my fault for taking too long of a shower. I didn't attach her thermos correctly to her lunch box so it fell off somewhere from the kitchen to the car because it wasn't in the car..... my house was a mess so I must of failed housekeeping 101, I didn't spend enough 1 on 1 time yesterday with my 6yr old or the day before........I cheated on my diet......I was just attacking myself left and right and right and left.......I normally am pretty confident these days and think I am a pretty good mom so where this all came from..... I think it is because I am trying to cut diet coke out of my life for good! I am telling ya it has made me sooo tired to not drink all that soda.......I think my body misses it! I really think that's it but I am not going back because I am making progress with this awful addiction to Diet Soda!
So I drop Amanda off and for a moment I start thinking about how I am a total failure at the stay at home thing! I think this is the first time that I had a moment like that where I truly was so convinced I had failed.......I started crying on the way home and then started praying......I told God He knew exactly what I needed that day and to please provide it. Later we went to Amelia's movement class and I watched her with such joy. I think the moms way off in the corner think I am such a nutcase because I laugh and smile, and clap for my daughter so much. Then I started to think of Kellie and how much she wanted to live to see her little man grow up. She would beam when she watched her little boy ride his bike! She knew she would not be here long to see him grow up so she cherished the little moments and watching her taught me to just enjoy these moments. After I thought of her, I didn't care if those other moms thought I was too excited for my child or not, I was enjoying watching her and no one was going to chase my joy away.
On the way home we stopped to get gas and I put a movie in for Mia to watch while I pumped the gas. I figured since she wouldn't have my great singing to keep her entertained she could have Boz the Bear sing to her. Yes, he is so much better than I am! When I told her I was going to put the movie in.....she said with a great, big smile, "You are the best mommy in the whole wide world!"
Amazing how her little sentence changed my attitude and the rest of our day! There is no greater gift or career greater than being a stay at home mom and I will not allow Satan to come around with his little lies or other moms who do things differently than I may do, to steal my daily joy of just spending the day with my girls! I am so thankful God gives us what we need! He made me think of Kellie at the right time today so I could be grateful.......and He gave my daughter the words that I needed to hear! His timing is incredible!
